Survival of the Fittest by Morven
Well, the last one was a wee bitty rude, sorry about that. My muse just came back from holiday after jumping off my nose!
Group enter the cinema, they all push to get to the good seats. The theatre dims.
We open at this prison-type place. A guard enters, clears the security measures. He stands in front of someone held in a containment unit. Suddenly, the guard changes into Mystique.
John: Wow, can you picture all the other things she can do?
Peat: Fulfil your wildest dreams...........
Skye: Save your self for Hotty, hotty, hot, hot.
Pad: That's really disgusting!
Peat: Aw come on! Aren't you wondering what colour her ni.......
John: PEAT!!!!
Mystique: Wake up, Cain. It's time you had a long-overdue family reunion With your brother, Charles Xavier.
Peat: Dude looks more like Logan.
Skye: Do you know that Operation Rebirth has been planned for age's?
John: Really?
Skye: Yea, they only showed it this weekend in the US and there were rough drafts made a few months back.
John: Shocking.
********************
Opening Credits.
********************
Sergeant Hawk: You will not be making wallets, necktie racks, or paperweights. You will not be engaging in potato sack races, water balloon tosses, or pony rides. You will be taking 20-mile hikes, repelling 200-foot cliffs, and crossing treacherous water with no more than a rope and all the courage you can muster. Do you read me?
Pad: Blimy! There in boot camp.
Skye: Aye, why would Xavier send them there?
John: Maybe to punish them for the last couple of eps?
Skye: That was mainly Spykes fault.
All: Yes, Sergeant Hawk, Sir!
Sergeant Hawk: I said do you read me?
All: Yes, Sergeant Hawk, Sir.
Peat: Sounds like a concert!
Skye: Oh god.......
Sergeant Hawk: Welcome to Iron Back Survival Camp, a name you won't soon forget. Now. Here we have a young man, Scott Sumner...
Scott: Summers.
Peat: *Sergeant Hawk voice* What was that boy? Are you giving me lip?!
Group laugh.
Sergeant Hawk: Whose scholastic achievements at Bayvile High have earned the rank of group leader. You will be following his lead. You've got 10 minutes to stow your gear and report to the training field. Dismissed!
[Everyone grumbles]
Kitty: Oh, I'm going to be dead in, like, 2 days.
Evan: What about me? I'm a city kid.
Skye: So?
Pad: Yea, if you die, we'd be happy.
Kurt: What did we ever do to deserve this?
Rogue: I'm going awol. Anyone know how to hot-wire a school bus?
John: Uh..........
Peat: To the woman who stole John's brain please return it to the owner, that is all.
Pad: Geez, your not even that bad with Logan.
Skye: Ah! But you see, Logan has lots of toys out so.......
Pad: I don't want to know!
Scott: Whoa, whoa! Slow down, private. Come on. We're not washing out in front of the whole school. Besides, Professor X endorses this place.
Jean: Yeah. At least he gave us a choice. Survival training here or with Wolverine.
Rogue: Some choice.
Skye: I know which one I'd choose!
Pad: So do we. Oh, we've lost Peat too.
Skye: Hum. *Sees Peat drooling* Ew! So, which one is it to be Pad? Kurt or Toad?
Pad: Kurt............. Well, it depends............
Scott: Come on, we can do this.
[Everyone grumbling]
Evan: Man, Sergeant Hawk should really be told that I'm a city kid.
Skye: *Yelling* We don't care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Guys are brought out of there day dreams and look at her.
Skye: That stupid potato!
Fred: Group leader, scholastic achievement. That should have been me.
Pietro: You can't even spell "scholastic achievement," Blob.
Fred: But I can spell "doomed," which is what that goody-goody gang is, after I get them alone in the woods.
Toad: Yeah, I can hear it now. "Search and rescue efforts abandoned for missing teens. No traces found."
Pad: Yea Kurt, Toad is too happy to kill.
Skye: Well, no wonder, he does have a killer tounge'.
She and John laugh.
All: Ha ha.
Lance: Hey, easy, guys. We'll beat them where it hurts most, in public, in front of everyone. Let's go.
********************
Back to Mystique at the prison place.
Mystique: Cellular paralysis biofluid. Amazing. It actually stopped the unstoppable. It'll take a few moments before you can move. Then I'll sneak you out of this horrible prison where... Now, who was it that locked you away? Oh, that's right. Your brother. Charles Xavier. *Juggernaut growls* Sore subject?
Juggernaut: Who...are you?
Pad: Oh my god!!! I bet he has more lines to say in this ep than Sabertooth has in the whole season!!!
John: Not that we count Sabertooths lines.... Or anything.......
Skye: Yea, we're sad, but not that sad!
Mystique: A deal maker. I arrange your early release, and you deliver to me one item in your brother's possession, his mutant detection system known as Cerebro.
Juggernaut: And, uh, my brother?
Mystique: *Chuckling* I leave his fate in your capable hands. *She snaps on his helmet* You are, after all, the unstoppable Juggernaut. Now, I have a plane waiting. It will take you uhh! Uhh! Ohh!
Juggernaut pushes Mystique out of the way and walks out.
Pad: Rude man, isn't he?
Skye: With a lot of lines.
Peat: How did Xavier stop Juggernut any way?
Skye: That's Juggernaut and you'll find out, later.
Pad: So, you don't know?
Skye: Oh, I do know. But that would ruin the ending for you. But, here's a clue, telepathic hits and Juggernauts helmet are the conected.
Pad & Peat: Ah.
Juggernaut: No one! No one takes Juggernaut anywhere, and nothing gets in my way.
Mystique: Charming.
John: *English accent* Lovely manners darling.
Skye: *Posh English accent* Oh yes, wonderful!
Peat: *Liverpool accent* Oh yea, brilliant!!!
Group laugh.
********************
Back to summer camp. Everyone is climbing ropes. Lots of grunting and groaning.
Fred pulls the rigging down.
Fred: I'm not built for this kind of stuff.
Skye: how can you tell?
Lance and Scott are racing.
Lance: You swim?
Scott: Yeah.
Lance: Pity.
And he causes a tremor which knocks Scott into the water.
Scott: Aah!
Evan: Uhh! Hey! Hey, that cheating chump!
Jean: Listen. We agreed not to use any powers out here, remember? You know, just man against nature.
Pad: Ha! None of them could survive without there powers now.
Skye: Apart from Rogue.
Pad: Why Rogue?
Skye: Well, Rogue is more of a threat to an individual that a group, she has to touch something to get there skills.
Pad: Right.
Evan: That guy needs his boat popped.
Jean: Yeah, well, Scott's cool. He's handle it like a group leader should.
And Scott blows Lance out of his boat with his powers.
Lance: Aah!
Jean: Or not.
Peat: Oh!
Skye: Not exactly a straight boy.
Scott wins, everyone cheers.
Fred: That loser Scott should have lost, and you know it.
Pietro: Yeah. Just because he slipped and took a bath, the guy went ballistic.
Kurt: Slipped? More like avalanched!
Pad: Oh! My wee Kurt!
Toad: He stole that first-place ribbon.
Kitty: He did not!
Rogue: You want that ribbon so bad? I'll pin it to your forehead, freak!
Lots of grumbling and arguing.
All doing pushups.
Pad: Ah! *Reverts her eyes* I really don't want to look down Jean's top!
Peat: Oh yes!
All: 58, 59, 60.
Sergeant Hawk: Now on your feet. [all complaining] Here at Iron Back, We got ways to weed the loudmouths from the tough guys. We fight it out in the wilderness against the wilderness. You grunts want to prove how tough you are, fine. First team to snatch a flag I planted up there on mount humiliation and brings it back to me, wins.
Pietro: Cakewalk. Our team can take a sauna. I'll get it myself.
Kurt: Not if I beat you there.
Sergeant Hawk: The whole team or no one! As proof, I want a snapshot of every member right there at the top. Are we clear?
All: Sir, yes, sir!
Skye: *Singing* In the army we're everybody's friend, in the army, we'll be glad to lend a hand! In the army we'll go round and round the mud!
John: Aw!
Sergeant Hawk: You leave in 5 from opposite trails. Be ready.
Lance: Better say your farewells, Sumner, 'cause you guys aren't coming back.
Scott: Oh, you got something in mind, rock tumbler? 'Cause I *starts to tip the shades*
Jean: Scott! What do you think you're doing?
Pad: He needs a good spanking!
Skye: Oh yea, and Jean would certainly do that!! I think Peat would prefer it though.
They laugh, minus Peat who is busy starring at Jean.
Scott: What? Nothing! I'm just fed up with those delinquents getting away with everything while we're stuck playing by the rules.
Lance: Hey! We don't need our powers to beat you.
Scott: Aw, fine, then! We'll all play it straight, and you know what? We'll wave to you from the top.
Jean: Good! That's the deal. We're all competing fairly. No powers. And I personally am very proud--
Scott: Come on, Jean.
Pad: Hum, and so the games begin.
Skye: Yup, now......... Let's find Logan!! Woohoo!!!
********************
Over to the mansion.
Logan: Is Cerebro locating new mutant sigs?
Peat: Sigs?
Skye: Signal.................
Pad: Ah, we'll need a mop.
John: Yea.
Professor X: No, just our students up at Iron Back. They've been a little active.
Logan: Hmm! Did you tell them not to use their powers?
Professor X: No. I was hoping they'd make that decision themselves.
Logan: Well, I still say you should have let me handle their survival training.
Skye: You should have stupid old man!!!
Pad: Skye! I am shocked at you.
Skye: He started it. *Points to Xavier*
Professor X: I gave them that choice, Logan. They felt they had a better chance of surviving the camp.
Alarm sounds.
Peat: Spiderman, away!!!
Pad: Its the X-Man.
Peat: I know, I was...... Just testing you.
John: *Whispering* I think if it was Spiderman he'd have fallen for Mary Jane.
Pad: Who?
Professor: Well, well. Seems we have a new mutant on the scene, after all.
Cerebro: Discovery. Enhanced mutant signature. Identity confirmed and matched to archive file.
Professor X: Archive file? Who would--
He gasps.
Cerebro: Name: Cain Marko. Residence: Stokes County Maximum-security Prison. Current Location: in Transit. Upstate New York.
Professor X: No!
Logan: Cain Marko? Who's--
Professor X: My half brother. Somehow, he's escaped. But that's that's impossible.
Skye: See! Never let Logan finish his sentence!!
Pad: I think its because Logan hasn't been in a lot of the shows.
John: No. She really wants to see Grim Reminder, and Operation Rebirth.
Pad: Huh?
John: Both the shows star Logan.
Pad: Ah, right.
Logan: What's an enhanced mutant signature?
Professor X: He possessed an x-gene at birth, but it was dormant most of his life, so he awakened it with mysticism.
Skye: And that's all we ever learn about mysticism.
John: Yea.
Pad: What's mysticism?
John & Skye: Have no idea.
Logan: Hmm! What kind of powers does he have?
Professor X: He's become a Juggernaut, invulnerable.
********************
Flash to Juggernaut walking down the road pushing cop cars out of his way.
Cops: Whoa!
Skye: Now that's family entertainment!
Peat: Yea! Woohoo!
********************
Everyone is running up the mountain.
Scott: Come on! Let's pick it up! We're almost to the base.
Rogue: What's with Mr. Decathlon? He's as bad as Sergeant Hawk.
Kitty: All he cares about is winning this thing. Hey, Kurt, can't you, like, make yourself useful and just teleport us up to the top?
Kurt: This trip is of the power-free variety, I'm told.
Jean: Come on. Just follow Scott's lead on this. We'll win. You'll see.
Skye: Yea right.
Peat: Hum?
Skye: Watch and see who wins.
Evan: The mosquitoes here are the size of pelicans. No bugs like this in the burg, man. Why are we here again?
Toad grunting as he hops up the mountain.
Toad: What's taking you boys so long?
Fred climbs the mountain, pulling Lance and Pietro behind him.
Pietro: Man, if he slips and falls, we are history. Death by blubber bomb.
Lance: Fastest way to the top is a straight line, Pietro. We are winning this race. Make no mistake.
John: Guess that's one way to make Fred useful.
Skye: You've started a list?
********************
Flip to the Blackbird.
Storm: Engage autopilot.
She gets out of the Blackbird and creates a fog cover.
Whole group: Ohhhhhh........
********************
News reporter: And efforts to locate this powerful convict have been hampered by the unexpected appearance of dense inland fog. Let's go to Haley Taylor for more on this strange weather.
Professor X: [telepathic] Very good, Storm. Keep it up. [Out loud to Logan] If no one can see Cain, then no one will be foolish enough to try and recapture him.
Logan: If I can't stop him, Charles, your best protection will be in the Danger Room. I've got it ready.
Skye: *Teary eyed* No!
John: Aw! He's got healing factor. *Hugs Skye*
Pad: What?
Skye: He's gonna get trampled on!!!!!!!!!
Professor X: Yes. It may slow him down, but it won't stop him.
Logan: Do you have any defence against him at all?
Skye: See?!
Pad: No.
Professor X: Just one, my mind. With enough psychic blasts, I can disable him, unless he's wearing his helmet.
We see Juggernaut push a moving train out of the way.
********************
Then back to the boys on the mountain.
Lance: Hey, Freddy. A helpin' hand?
Fred pulls Lance and Pietro up the mountain.
Both: Aah! Aah! Stop! Aah!
Pad: Oh the joys!
Skye: Yea, sure. They have all the fun!
Lance: An abandoned mine?
Fred: Toad's checkin' for a shortcut.
Toad: Hey. There's a tunnel in there that's, like, a stairway to the top.
Skye: He's got the Kitty illness!!! We have to save him!!
John: He's evil?
Skye: Damn it!
Lance: now you're talking. That flag is ours.
Over to the X-Men.
Kurt: Spot the flag?
Scott: No. Pop up top and see if it's still there.
Kurt: But I thought what about Jean?
Scott: Hey. You wanna win or not?
Kurt: Ok. Fine, but she's not going to like this. I can tell you that. *poofs up and then back* It's there. We are very close, and no sign of the enemy.
John: Yes, because we're in a war here.
Pad: Thin ice John.
Scott: Forget the pitons. Evan, spike a rope up there. Time is wasting.
Evan: You sure? You look pretty sure to me, man.
Scott: That flag is ours. *Offers the rope to Jean*
Jean: Humph. *and then climbs up herself*
Peat: She's my wonder woman!
John: How sad.
Back to the Brotherhood.
Lance: You bonehead! We can't get through there! We've probably lost 'cause of you!
Toad: I kinda figured you could, you know, avalanche it loose a little bit.
Pietro: He's right. Give it some more juice, Lance, and you'll unclog it.
Lance: All right. Stand back.
Rumbling and there is a cave-in.
Fred: No! It's comin' down!
[all yelling]
Group: Ah!
Up to the X-Men.
Scott: There it is! Victory!
[rumbling]
Evan: *as he falls over the edge of the cliff* Whaaah!
Pad: *Singing* I'm flying threw the air!
*Jean grabs him and levitates him back up*
Evan: Whoa. I don't recommend that.
Skye: Oh! So close!
Scott: Nice move. That tremor had to be lance, so they gotta be close. Jean, levitate us all to the top.
Jean: No way. Forget it.
Scott: What? You just used your powers. What's the difference?
Jean: That was life and death. This contest isn't. Seems like X-Men oughta know the difference.
Rogue: Over here! It's them.
Todd: Yeah. No. We're caved in! Aw, come on. Don't leave us down here, man, not for some stupid flag.
Scott: We won't.
Skye; Why not ask me to put a finger down my throat?
John: Aw.
Pad: Was she like this for the Fox one too?
John: Yea, the Fox cartoon. She yelled at Jean to stay away from Logan too.
Peat: Can you say, nutter?
********************
Back to the mansion.
Professor X: Cain's failed relationship with our father and his resentment of me fueled his anger, but after he was empowered, that anger became destructive and dangerous. He had to be locked away. I had no choice.
Cerebro beeping.
Logan: He's here.
Juggernaut: Lay out the welcome mat, brother. I'm comin' home.
Logan attacks, growling all the way.
Skye: Oh no!!
Juggernaut: You can't stop the Juggernaut.
Logan: Forgive me for tryin', bub!
Pad: Our father who art in haven, hallow be thy name.............
Skye: Pad! Knock it off!
He can't hit Juggernaut and then is backhanded through the wall of the mansion.
Mystique: Hmm. I expected better.
Logan roars as he is knocked through another wall.
Mystique: No! That muscle-head!
Juggernaut slams Wolverine to the ground of the Danger Room. (Just outside). Wolverine crawls away and stands up when Juggernaut charges and slams him threw the metal doors.
Skye: Oh my god!!
Peat: God, cha, why can't you take it?
Skye: And you would be fine with someone beating Jean to a pulp?
Peat: Who?!
Mystique: You lumbering imbecile. What did you do, sit on Cerebro? You've smashed it. What happened to our deal?
Juggernaut: I don't make deals.
He knocks Mystique across the Danger room.
Juggernaut: Charles. Aren't you gonna welcome me home?
John: I really don't think he needs to. But you two need to talk about these things. Communicate more.
********************
Back to the mountain.
John: And we were making progress!
Scott: Hang on to my back. I'll pull you up.
Lance: Forget it. I'll pull myself up.
Scott: See ya at the top.
Fred: Pietro?
Pietro: I'm there.*races to the top*
Kurt: Hey! *ports up there*
The two reach the flag at the same time.
Suddenly, the Blackbird appears.
Storm: X-men, Professor X is in danger, and so is Mystique.
Scott: Up to it?
Lance: Let's go.
Sergeant Hawk: Huh? Unh! *as the Blackbird flies over, dropping a photo of everyone at the top*
Pad: The attack of the paper!! Run!
********************
In the Danger Room
Mystique: You ungrateful thug.
John: Now Mystique, let them talk it out.
Professor X: Cain, this doesn't have to end badly. This house, it's about new beginnings.
John: Good, we're making progress, now Cain?
Juggernaut: You're right, Charles. This is the beginning for me and the end for both of you!
John: Hum, so Cain, why do you want to kill them?
Professor X: You've learned nothing. You never will. Activate: Logan's run x-13.
John: Now Xavier, your not being very helpful.
Things start flying around attacking him but he brushes it all off.
Logan tries to rise.
Cyclops: Take a break, Wolverine.
Lance: We'll take it from here.
Mystique: Well, now. This is a surprise.
Jean levitates Juggernaut.
Peat: Woohoo!!
Juggernaut: Huh?
Logan: Cain's helmet. Remove it.
Skye: Oh..
Fred: Unh! Unstoppable? Meet the unmovable.
They all go at him with their powers.
Rogue: Get the latch.
Juggernaut: Aah! *Toad pulls off the helmet* No!
Professor X: I'm sorry, Cain.
John: Too bad you weren't ready to progress.
Group: Huh?
Skye: Your trying to talk therapy to the TV?
Peat: Your crazy man.
He hits him with a bunch of mental blasts. Juggernaut drops.
[all cheering]
Group: Yea! Woohoo!
Mystique: Now, there's something you won't see every day.
Professor X: I agree, that's a shame. *Look at each other*
Group: Love is in the air!!!
Mystique: Come on, boys. Let's get out of here before you're invited to a slumber party.
Lance: Hey, Summers. As a group leader, you're only half bad.
Scott: Well, then, next time, you can call the shots.
Lance: Trust me. There won't be a next time.
John: Now I'm sure there will be a next time for you two to sort out your differences
Skye: John, pack it in!
********************
Back to the prison.
Logan: You can't control the will of others, Charles. They do what they want.
Skye: Yea!
John: You didn't think he'd be hurt, did ya?
Skye: No, but it must've been painful.
John: Yea, especially at the end.
Both shiver.
Professor X: And we do what we have to do.
Logan: Yeah. Well. Ready? The repairs on Cerebro are waitin'.
Professor: Yes.
They leave.
Scott: It felt kinda right, didn't it?
Jean: What did?
Pad: Don't act innocent with us!
Scott: You know, us and them fighting alongside. I mean, why can't they just stop drawing battle lines in the sand?
Jean: Well, it's like Logan said. You can't control the will of others.
Pad: Even though you really want to.
Skye: Heck yes. I bet Xavier is wishing that Mystique would be in his bed.
John: Skye!
Skye: So? I never said anything wrong or bad, Just to have Mystique warm up his bed.
Peat: And him!
Group laugh.
Scott: Yeah. I know... and maybe they'll come around. Hey, and you can be their conscience. You're pretty good at it.
Jean: Oh, shut up! Hey. Even good guys need a nudge once in a while.
Scott: Jean... whenever you think I need it, nudge away.
Pad: God he irritates me!!
Skye: He does that to everyone, but we still love him.
Pad: No we don't, he's a git.
Skye: Yes, but even so, we still have to hang with him.
Pad: What?
They walk out of the cinema.
Waugh: No! I almost had her!!
Sharp: Who?
Waugh: Skye! I almost had her!!! Grr!!!
********************
Go on to read about Shadowed Past.
Return to the Evolution Fic Page.